There’s an NFL job opening, and as always, I’m throwing my hat into the ring. I just watched Jeffrey Lurie’s press conference and when listing the characteristics he’s looking for in his next head coach, he basically described the opposite of Chip Kelly. So here’s a list of ways I’m the opposite of Chip Kelly. […]

Welp. It’s that time of the year. While legitimate prognosticators are poking fun at their now laughable preseason predictions, and I but a humble douchebag will only talk about how great I am for the ones I got right. The AFC has taken a weird shape if you can call it that. There are three […]

Packers – This bye week they were 6-0 and they could actually relax. Not that 1-2 relax when you should be panicking bullshit. Patriots – Patriots fans are doing the we knew we had it all along crap when I read their nervous tweets on Sunday. Panthers – I feel like Chris Collinsworth nailed it […]

It’s been a while since I’ve done some power rankings. It’s been too long really. Doing it made me realize just how top heavy the league is this year. There’s a real drop off outside of the best 8-10 teams. We might get a few 8-8ers in the playoffs. You’ll see what I’m talking about […]

NFL Douchebag 6969 Peach Tree St. Apt. #69 Atlanta, GA 30369 404-555-6969   Education: Oh, I’ve got my G.E.D. Experience: The Gap – Salesman (October 2008-May 2009) My job duties included telling fellow douchebags that they look like shit when wearing our merchandise. Informing our customers that we do not sell dog sweaters. I also […]

I did a power rankings post a few weeks ago and much to my surprise it got thousands of hits, more than anything I’ve ever posted. So here we go again. 1. Arizona Cardinals – Much like the desert, and Drew Stanton’s eHarmony inbox, the top is really fucking lonely. 2. New England Patriots – […]

I’ve never done this as I think power rankings are lame, but people eat them up. If you want to eat my shit, shit I shall. 1. Dallas Cowboys – They have the best record in the league. It’s basic science. 2. Denver Broncos – If quarterbacking ability made you hot, Peyton Manning would look […]

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.