NFL Douchebag (510)-555-6969 69 Douche Plum Lane Oakland, CA 94601   Education PhD in Yoga Studies from The School of Hard Knocks (June 2008) Cumulative GPA: 3.69 (I would’ve gotten a 4.0, but my GPA is funnier.) -My senior thesis was on how to stretch to avoid your butt from being hurt.   Experience   […]

Whoo! What a week! In this episode of the podcast I discuss: -The Bucs Sucking -What Goodell Did -The Bills Normalizing -Fucking, Marrying, and Killing Dudes -The Cowboys Big Comeback -Huffing -The Snow Globe that is the NFC West -A Would You Rather -The Panthers Uphill Climb -And Much Much More!

After a long week of talking about off the field drama, we got some actually games. They changed the conversation to actual football, and the were actually pretty good. The topics I discussed on today’s podcast are: -Strap Ons -Kirk Cousins -Trouble with Bitches and Switches -Palmer vs. Stanton -The Best Douche Duo -The Panthers […]

Welcome! The response was so overwhelming for my preseason predictions podcast we’ve made it to an episode two. The topics I discussed in today’s podcast are: -The Wendy’s Redhead vs. The AT&T Brunette -What Ray Did -Raider Violence -The Rise of the Falcons -Kaepernick’s Race -A 6,000 Yard Passer -Fish Sticks And much, much more! […]

The topics include: -Parakeet Masturbation -Superbowl Hangovers -Trannies -Natural Regression -Shit Size vs. Penis Size -When the Rookie QBs Should Start and so much more!

I’m making the All-Convict team. What changes or additions would you make? Coach Ryan Leaf (robbery) Yes, he coached at West Texas A&M                                                                                                                                                                                                                 QB Mike Vick (dog serial killer) RB O.J. Simpson (murder(allegedly, unless you’re smart), armed robbery) WR Rae Carruth (murder) WR Chad Johnson (excessive spousal abuse) WR Marvin Harrison (murder(allegedly)) TE Aaron Hernandez […]

#ClassyKaepernickHate was trending on Twitter this morning. Here are the jokes I came up with: – He calls his groupies the 69ers. – Rupaul thinks he needs to tone it down. – He hugs his binky whenever he has one of those Seattle nightmares. – Most crackheads shivering in alleys have less tattoos. – San […]


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